FLAMR

[hellicious]

FLAMR Lucifer Morningstar Devil on the lookout for drinking partners or just someone in general who might be able to fill him in a little on the intricacies of dating a human. Unwanted son seeking friends. Someone who isn't out for a favor or compensation, and who can help him figure out how to keep on the good side of the love of his life. Preferably someone who won't rub God in his face, or keep comparing him to other versions of himself who may or may not be down here. Lying prude who's terrified of women and sex in general. Keep it in your pants. Loves to chat about God and how fabulous He is. Hates women and is only living with one out of obligation. Loves children.

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Comments

[couldkillthedevil]

[For some reason, she can't help but think this is gong to bite her in the ass, but...]
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Lying prude, huh?

[hellicious]

... What? I didn't put that. Son of

What does it say?

[couldkillthedevil]

"Lying prude who's terrified of women and sex in general. Keep it in your pants. Loves to chat about God and how fabulous He is. Wants to just be friends."

Not what I was expecting from you, but...

1/2

[hellicious]

LKSDJF:LSKDJFSWE

2/2

[hellicious]

I did -not- put that. I hope you don't think I did.

Where's the bloody delete on this thing?

[couldkillthedevil]

It's alright if you did. I should've known that cocky attitude was hiding a sensitive soul.

[Oh, yeah. She's definitely enjoying this.]

[hellicious]

[Give him a minute, he's writing it down so he can copy it.]

This is what I sent.

"Literal Devil looking for a little fun and excitement. Must have voracious appetite, and yes, that's in reference to sex."

Bloody stupid Hell toys.

[couldkillthedevil]

Uh huh. It was the Hell toys that did it.

[hellicious]

You -really- believe I'd advertise to talk about my Father? Or that I'm a prude? Please.

[couldkillthedevil]

I don't know. Sometimes it's easier to put the truth online than to speak about it in person.

[Alright, alright, she gives.]

It's an amusing one, at least.

[hellicious]

You're rather mean when you're in a mood to be.

[couldkillthedevil]

Oh, c'mon. I'm just teasing. If you can dish it out, you can take it.

[hellicious]

[He wants to contest that, but she's right, and he takes a moment to huff, re-reading what she's written in as 'his' profile.]

This is going to make this a lot harder, you know. Last thing I want is to say yes to a meeting and wind up at bloody bible study.

[couldkillthedevil]

Oh, yeah. You poor thing. Someone might think you want to be friends.

You could just ask them which profile they saw. It's weird, but it gets it out of the way.

[hellicious]

There shouldn't be more than one. What if there are more? "Call me Daddy and ask me to spank you."

Well, that might not be so bad.

[couldkillthedevil]

Gross.

Looks like you'll just have to roll the dice and take a chance.

[hellicious]

I did get -you- to give me a heart. You cheeky thing.

[couldkillthedevil]

Hey, it wasn't a bad ad. Very promising.

[hellicious]

Very much a lie. I prefer honest advertising, thank you. Otherwise I'd wax poetic about my three penises.

[couldkillthedevil]

...Well, not everyone is perfect, I guess.

[hellicious]

Please. You can't even manage one. I can't see you drooling over three.

[couldkillthedevil]

Drooling, no. Staring in horror? Possible.

[hellicious]

Understandable. One large one is more than enough. Three is just greedy. What would you even do with three cocks? How would that work out? The only way you could utilize all of them at the same time is oral, and that just brings to mind milkings, which isn't where I'd want to go with that.

Either way, one is quite fine for me, thank you. Which is one more than you can handle. ;)

[couldkillthedevil]

[........]

Yeah. I'm going to stop replying now.

[hellicious]

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