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[hellicious]

"Busy with something wicked. Leave a message. Ta."

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[hellicious]

... No hooves, thank you. That goat thing was a lie.

[He was going to pluck Amenadiel bald.]

I could likely scare them. But I don't think that would do anything other than make them wet themselves.

[lieborn]

Good. Make them cry like babes. [ Said with all the conviction of a sour teenager that can't reach any of the shelves where he lives. His life is so difficult. ] You're not going to help, then?

[ His list of Worthy and Powerful adults is running surprisingly thin. ]

[hellicious]

Less that I'm not and more that I don't know what you expect me to do. I'm not omnipotent, dear boy. I could swat someone upside the head, but I can't make them do anything.

...

Correction, I don't make people do anything. Quite a strong believer in Free Will. If they want to be a bunch of idiots running amok, then that's their own bloody fault, isn't it?

[lieborn]

But I'm short.

[ Not the gravest of his current concerns but a very strong reason to whine petulantly. ]

[hellicious]

So grow out of it? Aren't you a shapeshifter?

[lieborn]

It doesn't work like that, I can't even ...

[ Clamping his mouth shut as he almost admits too much, he snorts and the sound of him flopping on a couch carries over the line. ]

Never mind. You can go back to your nice tall life now.

[hellicious]

I am rather tall, yes.

[Another point of Pride for him. Taller than Amenadiel, who was his big brother. That meant something, right?]

Look, if it's some cup doing all the damage, why not just go smash it? Set things to right?

[lieborn]

Apparently, from what my worthwhile snooping has turned up, it needs to be pushed back the way it came or we're all going to suffer.

[ Probably should have led with that but, Loki being Loki, he finds his own problems obscure the bigger picture. Especially at thirteen. ]

[hellicious]

[Lucifer may never have physically gone through puberty, but he was perpetually mentally in the state of one, it seemed. Mention boobies sometime, Loki.]

And that hasn't been done yet because...?

[lieborn]

I told you, because they're taking forever!

[ rrrARRR didn't he cover this. ]

They need more technicians and sorcerers and no one will take me seriously when I insist they lend a hand, they think I'm tricking them.

[hellicious]

Right. And why not just direct them to someone they can trust if they're so convinced you're just being odd? I would think anyone here would notice that things are a bit... odd. And if there's an explanation for that, why wouldn't they opt to confirm?

[lieborn]

Maybe they don't care, but I do. I care an awful lot. [ Pardon the wet-sounding swallow. ] The chalice took from me everything I've been working for.

[hellicious]

[Don't cry. He hated it when people cried. More so when those people were young and small and sticky-fingered.]

Well, then? Go get it back. Make people listen. Why not give them a kick in the backside yourself?

[lieborn]

They won't listen anymore. I don't look as scary without my horns.

[ That's the grandest sigh in all the Ten Realms. ]

[hellicious]

Get horns. Honestly. Get a flaming sword and swat them upside the ass.

[lieborn]

The chalice took away most of my magic, and it's hard to trick dimwits into saving themselves. I just want ...

[hellicious]

Don't trick them. The truth does wonders in cases of prodding people into doing what they should.

[lieborn]

I know that, I'm the God of Lies. I'd trick them with their own sense of self-preservation but it appears no one has any.

If you can help in any way, I'll pay you back when I'm more myself. Open favour? Mostly. Don't go nuts.

[hellicious]

[Oh, he did like the idea of making a deal. Especially with someone who might be able to pay him back in a more grand manner.]

I'll see what I can do. That's all I'll promise for now.

[lieborn]

When you turn ten and come asking me for help, I'll be sure to frustrate you just as much. Thanks.

[hellicious]

Not likely to happen, not sorry. I never was ten. Not physically, anyway.

[He didn't sound the slightest bit sorry, just as promised.]

[lieborn]

Neither was I.

[ With that dark grumble, he signs off. ]